August 5th at 10:00pm Luke and I were laying in bed watching the Crossfit games when all of a sudden a heard a little pop. I disregarded it and continued to lay in bed for a few minutes until I felt the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. Well in that moment I realized just what had happened. I yelled for Luke to come into the bathroom and I started crying saying over and over again, ” Oh my gosh, my water just broke!” I was in complete shock. You know as women we gear up for this moment for a little over 9 months but when it happens it gets real really fast and you feel like you had no time to prepare at all. He calmed me down and told me it was all going to be okay. Then he smiled really big and said, ” Babe, this just means we get to meet our baby soon.” Well little did we know it would be a longer journey than what we thought it would be.
I called my momma and sister and an hour later they arrived at our house. My momma laid in bed with me while Luke got things packed up. I tried going to sleep but by the time they had gotten to my house my contractions had started, and I was just to uncomfortable to fall asleep. My whole goal was to labor at home as long as possible so we did just that. We stayed home for 4.5 hours until my contractions were about 5 min apart and then decide to head to the hospital. My sister had her babies in 6 and 7 hours so at this point I was nervous to stay at home any longer. Plus I was starting to get really uncomfortable and didn’t want to drive in the car once they got worse than they were. Once we got to the hospital they checked me in and we did not get the news I was hoping for. I was still 3cm dilated and 80% effaced, which is exactly where I was the Thursday before at my appointment. My doctor told us to go home and come back when the contractions became more constant like 3-4 minutes apart since they had slowed down as soon as we got to the hospital. Well as soon as I stood up to leave my contractions were coming at 3-4 minutes a part so I decided to just stay from that point on.
As they walked us to the room I couldn’t help but get overly excited at the fact that what we had been waiting for the past 9 months was happening in that moment. We were so lucky to get one of the suits that had its own tub in it. As soon as we got into the room I changed into my robe and sports bra and decided to labor in the tub for a while. A few hours of being in the room I had gotten checked again and I was still exactly where I was when we got in. However, I wasn’t going to let that discourage me so I decided to get up and walk around and of course dance a little. At this point everyone was there whom I wanted in the room Luke, my momma, my sister, my mother-in-law and my birth photographer Nicole who so happens to be my best friend. Everything was perfect and going just as I had planned. Well that is until hours and hours had passed and still nothing was happening.
At this point I had been in labor for 14 hours with no fluid left since my water had broken and no progress made. One of my midwives came in the next morning and told me we needed to start some sort of intervention. I had chosen Dr. Stroud and his team because they are so focused on natural births and do not do interventions unless it is 100% necessary so I knew it was getting serious. I decided to get what’s called a foully bulb placed which was an induction but with no medication. For those of you who do not know what it is let me explain. It is a bulb they put under the babies head and by the cervix. This pushes on the cervix to open it up and once the cervix is open to 5cm the bulb falls out. This is supposed to progress labor along without any medication. Once most women hit a 5cm or 6cm they go quickly from there so that is the whole point of it. Well putting it in was extremely painful to say the least but nothing compared to the pain of having it in. Once the bulb was placed I was having contractions every 1-1.5 minutes apart and they were strong. I labored for 7 hours with the bulb in. I swore at this point I was in the transition period. It was a pain like I have never felt before but I kept my eyes closed while Luke held me up and tears streamed down my face. I wanted this so badly and I wasn’t going to give up.
Around hour 21 of labor my nurse came in and checked me and I was only 4cm and still 80% effaced. At this point devastation started to set in but I was still very hopeful. My doctor came in again and told me that we had to start me on pbtocein to get things moving along since no progress was being made. At that moment I looked at Luke and told him there was no way I could handle pit on top of the bulb and he knew I couldn’t. After bawling for an hour and feeling totally defeated we decided to get an epidural and start pit. You guys I have never been so scared in my life as I was getting an epidural. Honestly it wasn’t bad at all but I still wish I didn’t have to get it. At this point my body was relaxed enough the bulb fell out and I was finally 5cm! Woohoo! We labored all night on pit, which they upped it to 10 (20 being the highest) and at that moment my babies heart rate began to drop. I started bawling because this was one of the reasons I did not want to have all of this done but it had to be so from there I just prayed God would keep my baby safe. My mother-in-law and I stayed up all night watching the monitors and each time her heart rate would drop I felt helpless. All I wanted to do was keep my baby safe and I couldn’t. I decided to take my hands and wrap them around my belly where she was laying and you guys her heart rate did not drop once from that moment on. It was a moment I will never forget. So the remainder of the night I continued to hold onto her and ended up getting 2 hours of sleep. Monday morning we woke up to my midwife standing next to my bed. She came in to check on me and to see how far along I was. I was finally at 8cm but still 80% effaced. We were hopeful! She told me they were going to up my pit every 30 minutes and see where I stood from there. They upped my pit for the next 2 1/2 hours to the max level of 20 and let me labor there for a while. My contractions were getting stronger and closer together so I felt very hopeful but still did not like the feeling of not being able to feel what my body was going through. Every time I would get a super strong contraction I would throw up but that was the only thing I felt. Around 9:00am Dr. Stroud and my midwife came in to check me again and as soon as I looked at him before he even told me what I was at I knew it wasn’t good. He put his hand on my leg and said, ” Lindsay, you are still the same and your cervix has swollen up which means more than likely you wont go anywhere from here.” He knew how important a natural birth was to me and how it had already been altered so much already so he gavee me one last option. He told us he could start me on Benadryl, which normally works, to help bring down the swelling and hopefully from there I would progress. He let me labor for another 4 hours in hopes this would do the trick. At 1:00pm he came in again to check me and right then I knew the natural birth I had prepared and hoped for wasn’t going to happen. He sat on my bed and said, “Lindsay, you have been in labor for 41 hours with minimal progress and with your cervix being so swollen I think it is time to consider being taken in for a C-section.” I am not sure how to explain the feeling I had at the moment. I felt as if my body failed me and I wasn’t sure why. He gave Luke and I some time alone. As Luke held me and tears of devastation streamed down both of our faces we decided it was best to go in for the C-section so Emerson and I were both safe.
As they wheeled me back I was so tired and so ready for it all to be over. I was scared but so brave because I knew I needed to do this for my baby girl and that is all that mattered. As soon as they got me on the surgery table I looked up at Dr. Martin and said, “I’m going to be okay, I got this,” and she said, “Lindsay, you are so strong and you so got this.” Luke then came in and sat next to me and held my hand. While she was cutting me she looked down at me and said, “Wow, you have some nice ab muscles,” and all I could think was please don’t destroy those! At this point we needed to find a moment of laughter to lighten up the room! I have never felt so scared but so at peace in my life than I did in that moment. A few minutes later we heard our sweet girls cry for the first time and our whole world changed. As soon as they weighed her the nurse said, “Wow, she is a little peanut.” All 5lb 13oz and 18.75 inches long with big eyes and the sweetest lips changed our lives forever<3